The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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