In the future we'll all be gay
wakey wakey hands off snakey
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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