Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
