Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
