BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
