you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
