I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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