But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
