No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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