i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize