You smell like stripper and shame
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
