So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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