forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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