i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we're making bets on your personal life
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
