I didn't shave. On purpose
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
