dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
