what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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