Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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