remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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