And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
