We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
