Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
