Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
