not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
