they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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