i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
