I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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