True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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