Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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