so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
