this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
