i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
