You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
