I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
