addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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