I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
