i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
