So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
