Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
