I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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