Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just invented taco cereal.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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