I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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