I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
