He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
