Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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