He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
