I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
