We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
