I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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