My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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